¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-04-16 763

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to a certain extent.
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
And they get sense of closeness.
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Eden! Thanks for doing the homework today! I appreciate your effort so keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree to a certain extent.
>>> CORRECT
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
>>> These days, parents are too busy to take care of their children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
>>> So, there is a need for their grandparents uncle, and aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
>>> Also, children can learn about good manners from their grandparents.
And they get sense of closeness.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.
>>>Therefore, the advantages are bigger than the disadvantages, it is helpful to up bring children by their parents.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106482 [03/10]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106481 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 7
106480 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106479 Why do people use SNS? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4930
106478 [03/09]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106477 2021.03.11 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5606
106476 Homework0311 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4752
106475 The thing I want to change if I can change something in my house ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4262
106474 Homework (239) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4466
106473 I want to have two rooms. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106472 The history of a country is our existence and foundation. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4368
106471 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106470 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106469 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106468 If you can change something in your house, what would it be and... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5331
106467 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5158
106466 In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106465 What is your favorite weather? why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4292
106464 Do you think food is enough every Korean? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4533
106463 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5005

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04