¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you like playing computer games?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¼ö
2021-04-16 732

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people likes playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive works. However, I do not like playing computer games.

This is because I simply do not have a time for playing computer games. Some people plays computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually do watching TV or sleep when I exhausted. Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I do playing games at free time.

But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game "Crazy Arcade" for a while. It was a game which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my competitor. One day, I had nightmare which I dead by a water bomb like the game, I felt scared. I told about the bad-dream to my mother, and my mother banned me to play that game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Hae Su!

Finally, I was able to check your composition. I must say that you have very good expressions and systematic flow of thought. Your mistakes are minor ones and we can remedy them as we go along our classes. Thanks for sending your answer to my question.

Excellent start, keep it up!

-T. Donna =)

Some people likes playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive works. 
>> Some people like playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive work. 

However, I do not like playing computer games.
>> Correct!

This is because I simply do not have a time for playing computer games. 
>> This is because I simply do not have time for playing computer games. 

Some people plays computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually do watching TV or sleep when I exhausted. 
>> Some people play computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually watch TV or sleep when I'm exhausted. 

Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I do playing games at free time.
>> Correct!
Or: Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I play games at my free time.

But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game "Crazy Arcade" for a while. 
>> But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game called "Crazy Arcade" for a while. 

It was a game which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my competitor. 
>> It was a game in which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my opponent. 

One day, I had nightmare which I dead by a water bomb like the game, I felt scared. 
>> One day, I had a nightmare in which I died by a water bomb  just like the game, I felt scared. 

I told about the bad-dream to my mother, and my mother banned me to play that game.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108441 What do you do after when you argue with someone? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108440 What will you do if you experience discrimination when you visit... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 609
108439 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 739
108438 What is the best gadget or appliance for you? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 756
108437 Why is warranty important? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 551
108436 hello teacher ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108435 What will you do if you experience discrimination when you visit... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108434 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 551
108433 What will you do if you experience discrimination when you visit... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 579
108432 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 699
108431 Write about vending machines in your country and how amazing... ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 584
108430 Is traffic a serious problem in your city? What do you usually... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 605
108429 Celltrion to export COVID-19 treatment to Pakistan À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108428 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1005
108427 What was your greatest accomplishment in your life? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 539
108426 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 954
108425 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108424 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108423 How has your town or city changed over your lifetime? Ȳ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 772
108422 If you had teleporting abilities, what¡¯s the first place you... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 580

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04