¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you like playing computer games?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¼ö
2021-04-16 819

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people likes playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive works. However, I do not like playing computer games.

This is because I simply do not have a time for playing computer games. Some people plays computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually do watching TV or sleep when I exhausted. Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I do playing games at free time.

But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game "Crazy Arcade" for a while. It was a game which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my competitor. One day, I had nightmare which I dead by a water bomb like the game, I felt scared. I told about the bad-dream to my mother, and my mother banned me to play that game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Hae Su!

Finally, I was able to check your composition. I must say that you have very good expressions and systematic flow of thought. Your mistakes are minor ones and we can remedy them as we go along our classes. Thanks for sending your answer to my question.

Excellent start, keep it up!

-T. Donna =)

Some people likes playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive works. 
>> Some people like playing computer games to relieve their stress after doing excessive work. 

However, I do not like playing computer games.
>> Correct!

This is because I simply do not have a time for playing computer games. 
>> This is because I simply do not have time for playing computer games. 

Some people plays computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually do watching TV or sleep when I exhausted. 
>> Some people play computer games to refresh their minds in their spare time, but I usually watch TV or sleep when I'm exhausted. 

Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I do playing games at free time.
>> Correct!
Or: Computer games require us concentration to win, so I would get more stress if I play games at my free time.

But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game "Crazy Arcade" for a while. 
>> But, when I was a kid, I fell in love with a computer game called "Crazy Arcade" for a while. 

It was a game which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my competitor. 
>> It was a game in which I would die if I was hit by a water bomb by my opponent. 

One day, I had nightmare which I dead by a water bomb like the game, I felt scared. 
>> One day, I had a nightmare in which I died by a water bomb  just like the game, I felt scared. 

I told about the bad-dream to my mother, and my mother banned me to play that game.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106841 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3174
106840 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3389
106839 I am very thank you for my parents, because they give me a lot... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4176
106838 Do you think different colors have different meanings? If so,... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106837 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2342
106836 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2341
106835 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2066
106834 Where are you going after our class? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3574
106833 Do you think your country is a safe place to live? Why or why... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106832 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 5
106831 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2229
106830 If you would climb a mountain, which mountain would it be and... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2442
106829 What are the advantages and disadvantages of online school? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106828 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 15
106827 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106826 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106825 My call time Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2701
106824 Happy answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3837
106823 : What was your best experience of acceptance? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106822 Message again power patricia use to make sentences Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3491

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04