¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-04-20 621

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there. As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am. There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. Most children help their parents to make money. Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty. I have seen campaign to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. We can help people with penny that would be the price of cup of coffee. Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better. However, I am sure these activities have strong effect.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day MR. HWANG! ^^ Hard work is the most important key to success. Without being willing to work hard and put everything into a venture, success is nearly impossible. Keep going! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there.
>>> CORRECT
 As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am.
>>>  As a viewer, I always feel sad and realized how happy I am.
 There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. 
>>> CORRECT
Most children help their parents to make money. 
>>> CORRECT
Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty.
>>> CORRECT
 I have seen campaigns to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. 
>>>  I have seen campaigns donating money which would be a small money for ordinary people. 
We can help people with penny that would be the price of a cup of coffee. 
>>> CORRECT
Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. 
>>> CORRECT
People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. 
>>> CORRECT
Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
>>> Of course, a few famous people are on the air for personal reasons that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
 However, I am sure these activities have strong effects.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108044 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 807
108043 Do you believe in life after death? Why or Why not? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 657
108042 Homework (273) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 673
108041 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 0
108040 Various animals ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 855
108039 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 0
108038 What is the best holiday for you? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 3
108037 Reddy and Letty ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1028
108036 What is your favorite artwork? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108035 What\'s the best advice from your parents? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 855
108034 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 604
108033 Someone I admire.. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 609
108032 Can you tell me about someone you admire? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108031 Shinhan Card to call all employees including CEO by name À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108030 Spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 742
108029 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 8
108028 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 728
108027 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 699
108026 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108025 Stressed out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04