¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-04-20 679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there. As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am. There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. Most children help their parents to make money. Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty. I have seen campaign to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. We can help people with penny that would be the price of cup of coffee. Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better. However, I am sure these activities have strong effect.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day MR. HWANG! ^^ Hard work is the most important key to success. Without being willing to work hard and put everything into a venture, success is nearly impossible. Keep going! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there.
>>> CORRECT
 As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am.
>>>  As a viewer, I always feel sad and realized how happy I am.
 There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. 
>>> CORRECT
Most children help their parents to make money. 
>>> CORRECT
Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty.
>>> CORRECT
 I have seen campaigns to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. 
>>>  I have seen campaigns donating money which would be a small money for ordinary people. 
We can help people with penny that would be the price of a cup of coffee. 
>>> CORRECT
Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. 
>>> CORRECT
People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. 
>>> CORRECT
Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
>>> Of course, a few famous people are on the air for personal reasons that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
 However, I am sure these activities have strong effects.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106770 Many Changes of My Thoughts Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 5
106769 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3875
106768 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3636
106767 Question 1: Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? / Question... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 7
106766 What was the biggest challenge you faced when you stayed in... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3955
106765 Giving an expensive gadget to a kid. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3688
106764 Can you tell a brief history of your hometown? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3489
106763 What is the biggest change this world needs? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3742
106762 Govt. task force to summon LH officials over alleged land... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 1
106761 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 8
106760 Jop losses continue for 12th month in Feb. amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106759 What is the biggest change this world needs? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106758 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? Explain your answer. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106757 A hard decision. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106756 New hobbies Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3834
106755 Go to bed early before taking the test. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 5
106754 Do the colors of the clothes we wear represent our mood ? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 2949
106753 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 3
106752 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 4
106751 grandparents house. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04