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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to i

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-20 718

회원님의 영작문

Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there. As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am. There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. Most children help their parents to make money. Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty. I have seen campaign to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. We can help people with penny that would be the price of cup of coffee. Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better. However, I am sure these activities have strong effect.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day MR. HWANG! ^^ Hard work is the most important key to success. Without being willing to work hard and put everything into a venture, success is nearly impossible. Keep going! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some celebrities visited to poor country and made film about the people's life there.
>>> CORRECT
 As viewer, I always feel sad and realize that how happy I am.
>>>  As a viewer, I always feel sad and realized how happy I am.
 There are too many children who can't eat their meals at least once a day. 
>>> CORRECT
Most children help their parents to make money. 
>>> CORRECT
Even though, they earn really small amount of money, they can't stop to work because it is the only way to solve their poverty.
>>> CORRECT
 I have seen campaigns to donate money which would be the small money for ordinary people. 
>>>  I have seen campaigns donating money which would be a small money for ordinary people. 
We can help people with penny that would be the price of a cup of coffee. 
>>> CORRECT
Celebrities ask people to save small money and donate it to aid associations. 
>>> CORRECT
People who have strong influence in the society can draw the attention and make people participate in positive activities. 
>>> CORRECT
Of course, few famous people are on the air for personal reason that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
>>> Of course, a few famous people are on the air for personal reasons that might take the advantages from the program and make their image better.
 However, I am sure these activities have strong effects.
>>> CORRECT

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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04

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