¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Home work(4.19)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-04-20 740

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

WRITING TASK: What kind of diet would you recommend to your friend? Why?
I recommend cutting flour diet such as bread, noodles, snacks and so on. Flour is not only harmful for our health but also makes our body fat. There are many foods which are made from flour. For example, hamburgers, pizza, bread, noodles.. which have high calories. These foods have much sugar and people are poisoned easily. That's the reason we should cut flour foods for our health and diet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ji Eun! I am so glad you recommended this kind of diet. It's really informative. See you! -Faith-
WRITING TASK: What kind of diet would you recommend to your friend? Why?
>> CORRECT
I recommend cutting flour diet such as bread, noodles, snacks and so on. 
>> I recommend cutting out flour diet such as bread, noodles, snacks and so on. 
Flour is not only harmful for our health but also makes our body fat. 
>> CORRECT
OR Flour is not only harmful for our health but also makes us gain weight.
There are many foods which are made from flour. 
>> There are many foods which are made from flour. 
For example, hamburgers, pizza, bread, noodles.. which have high calories. 
>> For example, hamburgers, pizza, bread, and noodles, which have high calories. 
These foods have much sugar and people are poisoned easily. 
>> CORRECT
OR These foods are high in sugar and people are poisoned easily. 
That's the reason we should cut flour foods for our health and diet.
>> Those are the reasons why we should cut out flour foods/recipes for our health and diet.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110183 family ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 728
110182 What is the worst kind of pollution in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 2
110181 Writing: How do you respond to customers\' queries about your... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 392
110180 Cut ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110179 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 399
110178 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 659
110177 I like to eat at home. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 635
110176 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 379
110175 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110174 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110173 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 412
110172 How do you control your anger? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110171 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110170 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 574
110169 My parents never force me to \"do this, you have to do this\". ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 360
110168 Do you have food that you hate? If so, what is it and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110167 Tuesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 510
110166 Monday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 542
110165 7/19 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 540
110164 7/20 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 497

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04