¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

computer game is not good for children

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¹Î
2021-04-22 677

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think computer game is not good for children.
First reason, If they play computer game. They can fall into games. And they only want to play computer games. Also they poor social powers.
The second reason, If children plays many time on computer game they don't want to stop games so they don't listen to his mother spiking.So his personality becomes grotesque.
That's the reason why I think computer game is not good for children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jed. Thank you for this. For these reasons you mentioned, I hope you don't pay too much computer games then.
- T. Beth
================================

I think computer game is not good for children.
>>>    correct
First reason, If they play computer game. 
They can fall into games. And they only want to play computer games. 
>>> The first reason is, if they play computer games they can get addicted and they would only want to keep playing computer games.
Also they poor social powers.
>>Also, they would have poor social skills.    
The second reason, If children plays many time on computer game they don't want to stop games so they don't listen to his mother spiking.
>>> The second reason, if children play computer game for a long time, they wouldn't want to stop so they won't listen to their mother speaking.   
So his personality becomes grotesque.
>>> Their personality become grotesque.   
That's the reason why I think computer game is not good for children.
>>>  correct  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107822 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 667
107821 homework ¾È*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 594
107820 Do you like being the age at which you now are? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1538
107819 What were your best and worst trips? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 485
107818 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 571
107817 About household chores ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 613
107816 \"Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 576
107815 If you can have one thing forever, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 725
107814 [04/21]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 2
107813 If I can have one thing forever ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 666
107812 Homework (268) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 594
107811 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 0
107810 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 796
107809 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 756
107808 If you can have one thing forever, what would it be and why? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 559
107807 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 643
107806 Home work(4.21) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 526
107805 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 2
107804 A country I want to visit ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 4
107803 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 642

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04