¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

computer game is not good for children

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¹Î
2021-04-22 742

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think computer game is not good for children.
First reason, If they play computer game. They can fall into games. And they only want to play computer games. Also they poor social powers.
The second reason, If children plays many time on computer game they don't want to stop games so they don't listen to his mother spiking.So his personality becomes grotesque.
That's the reason why I think computer game is not good for children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jed. Thank you for this. For these reasons you mentioned, I hope you don't pay too much computer games then.
- T. Beth
================================

I think computer game is not good for children.
>>>    correct
First reason, If they play computer game. 
They can fall into games. And they only want to play computer games. 
>>> The first reason is, if they play computer games they can get addicted and they would only want to keep playing computer games.
Also they poor social powers.
>>Also, they would have poor social skills.    
The second reason, If children plays many time on computer game they don't want to stop games so they don't listen to his mother spiking.
>>> The second reason, if children play computer game for a long time, they wouldn't want to stop so they won't listen to their mother speaking.   
So his personality becomes grotesque.
>>> Their personality become grotesque.   
That's the reason why I think computer game is not good for children.
>>>  correct  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108373 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108372 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 657
108371 Tell something interesting about my city ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 541
108370 Today\'s homework Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 715
108369 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 4
108368 when was the last time you were sick? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 735
108367 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108366 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 585
108365 Can we say the Internet makes the news world better? Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 623
108364 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 0
108363 homework_21.05.06 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108362 What do you do after when you argue with someone? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108361 How did your parents raise you? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108360 Doosan heavy to extract hydrogen from plastic waste À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108359 Homework (280) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 512
108358 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108357 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108356 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 609
108355 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 648
108354 Personally, do you think people can really stop using plastic?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 542

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04