무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you believe in life after death? Why or Why not?

작성자: 류*주
2021-04-23 660

회원님의 영작문

I'm going to church every Sunday. I believe God and I believe Jesus too. And we can find lots of things about after death in Holy Bible.
But I can't believe about after death. I believed after death when I was young. But now, I know about lots of things.
And I can't assure about after death. If we hear or see about dimention theory, there is about 4-dimention.
According to the dimention theory, the time, is just one axis such as X-axis, Y-axis, and Z-axis.
And 3-dimentional creature, human can see only 3-dimentional things. It means we can see only section of 4-dimention.
And in the 4-dimention, the time of 3-dimention is just one thing like apple. And it is shaped.
So we are thinking that time goes by, but time isn't going. We just made the time to understand 4-dimention more easly.
So past, prasent, and future is happening at the same time. That's why I can't assure about after death.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John! Life after death is called "Heaven". Some people believe in it and some don't. It actually depends on your faith. Our perspectives are different from another. Thanks for sharing yours :) 

PS: I learned a lot from your answer. Thanks for that :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I'm going to church every Sunday. 
>> I go to church every Sunday. 

I believe God and I believe Jesus too. 
>> I believe in God and Jesus too. 

And we can find lots of things about after death in Holy Bible.
>> We can read a lot of things about the after lifer in the Holy Bible. 

But I can't believe about after death. 
>>Despite that, I still don't believe in life after death. 

I believed after death when I was young. 
>> I used to believe it when I was young. 

But now, I know about lots of things.
>> But now I know a lot of things. 

And I can't assure about after death. 
>> I haven't assured if there is life after death. 

If we hear or see about dimention theory, there is about 4-dimention.
>> If we know about the different dimensions, there are only 4 of them. 

According to the dimention theory, the time, is just one axis such as X-axis, Y-axis, and Z-axis.
>> According to the Dimentsion Theory, time is just one axis such as the X-axis, Y-axis and Z-axis. 

And 3-dimentional creature, human can see only 3-dimentional things. It means we can see only section of 4-dimention.
>> # dimentional creatures, like humans, can only see 3-dimentional things. It means we can only see a section of the 4th dimension. 

And in the 4-dimention, the time of 3-dimention is just one thing like apple. And it is shaped.
>> In the 4th dimension, time in the 3rd dimension is just like an apple. It has a shape. 

So we are thinking that time goes by, but time isn't going. We just made the time to understand 4-dimention more easly.
>> So we think that time just passes by but it doesn't. We just made the concept of time to understand the 4th dimension. 

So past, prasent, and future is happening at the same time. That's why I can't assure about after death.
>> So, the past, present and future is happening at the same time. That's why I can't assure if there is life after death. 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
107173 HOMEWORK 류*주 완료 2021-04-05 603
107172 Monday homework 류*우 완료 2021-04-05 458
107171 Some people believe that the experiences children have before... 황*하 완료 2021-04-05 450
107170 Is it true that money can make the world go round? for some... 김*현 완료 2021-04-05 540
107169 My introduction 전*선 완료 2021-04-05 545
107168 interview Qs practice 권*시 완료 2021-04-05 533
107167 Homework😀 박*리 완료 2021-04-05 648
107166 Tell me about myself 유*연 완료 2021-04-05 2
107165 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-04-05 1
107164 Homework 이*아 완료 2021-04-05 629
107163 homework 이*아 완료 2021-04-05 586
107162 What is the weather like in your country for each season? 하*조 완료 2021-04-05 767
107161 How do you preserve beautuful sceneries in your country? 정*원 완료 2021-04-05 868
107160 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'weekend\'? Are you... 김*연 완료 2021-04-04 512
107159 Something bad that happened to me. 김*환 완료 2021-04-04 639
107158 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? 여*진 완료 2021-04-04 1
107157 Homework 이*애 완료 2021-04-04 3
107156 I like to play ukulele 안*아 완료 2021-04-04 2
107155 Pet 민*정 완료 2021-04-04 600
107154 Homework 이*애 완료 2021-04-04 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]