¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for s

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-04-27 871

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. The education can change everything regarding people's life. We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status. These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. The education should be useful for society as well as individuals. If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. I missed you Monday. Anyway, I know you had a good time with another teacher. ;)  Thanks for doing your essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. 
>>> CORRECT
The education can change everything regarding people's life.
>>> CORRECT
We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
>>> We have seen a lot of examples of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
 These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. 
>>>  These factors influence the people's life and decisions of the quality of education in each country. 
There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. 
>>> CORRECT
This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
>>> This is really a sad story for us but most people can't afford to take care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
The education should be useful for society as well as individuals.
>>> CORRECT
 If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
>>>  If people don't feel any accomplishments on what they're doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. 
>>> If doing their job is only for the sake of money, there will not be any improvements for individuals and society. 
So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109577 What is your cards? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 479
109576 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109575 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 380
109574 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 490
109573 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109572 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 394
109571 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 0
109570 Today\'s diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109569 Is your country a safe country? What do you think the most... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 451
109568 What is your political forecast next year on your election? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 654
109567 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 3
109566 Eased social distancing rules to take effect from July À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109565 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 512
109564 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 4
109563 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 4
109562 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 4
109561 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 472
109560 Fill in the blanks with the correct words to complete the... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 513
109559 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 1
109558 How long have you been studying English? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 375

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04