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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for s

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-27 791

회원님의 영작문

I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. The education can change everything regarding people's life. We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status. These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. The education should be useful for society as well as individuals. If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Mr. Hwang. I missed you Monday. Anyway, I know you had a good time with another teacher. ;)  Thanks for doing your essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. 
>>> CORRECT
The education can change everything regarding people's life.
>>> CORRECT
We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
>>> We have seen a lot of examples of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
 These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. 
>>>  These factors influence the people's life and decisions of the quality of education in each country. 
There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. 
>>> CORRECT
This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
>>> This is really a sad story for us but most people can't afford to take care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
The education should be useful for society as well as individuals.
>>> CORRECT
 If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
>>>  If people don't feel any accomplishments on what they're doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. 
>>> If doing their job is only for the sake of money, there will not be any improvements for individuals and society. 
So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.
>>> CORRECT
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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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