¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think women should be treated the same way as men? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-04-27 1119

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! That's true. Gender inequality is a major controversy nowadays. Everyone should be treated the same. Although, it still might be different based on a person's capability regardless what gender they have. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. 
>>I think all people should be treated the same way whether they are men or women. 

but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. 
>>>But when it comes to jobs, I think the standard for women is easier than men. 

for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. 
>> For example, the physical standard of police officers and firefighters are different based on sex. 

I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. 
>> I think it's unfair. For women, they can't avoid physical violence from criminals. 

this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. 
>> This is not discrimination it's just understanding the capabilities  of each gender. 

I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.
>> I think the standard must be the same whether they are women or men.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109244 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 3
109243 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109242 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 544
109241 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 389
109240 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 570
109239 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 592
109238 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109237 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 476
109236 What is something you hate doing when you get home from work or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109235 Who are the 3 people in your life that you can\'t live without?... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109234 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109233 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 433
109232 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109231 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 638
109230 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109229 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109228 Activity À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 493
109227 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109226 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 2
109225 If you win the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04