¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think women should be treated the same way as men? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-04-27 1144

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! That's true. Gender inequality is a major controversy nowadays. Everyone should be treated the same. Although, it still might be different based on a person's capability regardless what gender they have. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. 
>>I think all people should be treated the same way whether they are men or women. 

but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. 
>>>But when it comes to jobs, I think the standard for women is easier than men. 

for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. 
>> For example, the physical standard of police officers and firefighters are different based on sex. 

I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. 
>> I think it's unfair. For women, they can't avoid physical violence from criminals. 

this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. 
>> This is not discrimination it's just understanding the capabilities  of each gender. 

I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.
>> I think the standard must be the same whether they are women or men.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108695 Reducing waste food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 3
108694 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 581
108693 What\'s the best sound in the world for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 1
108692 How would you describe yourself to someone who hasn¡¯t met you? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 1030
108691 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 3
108690 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 974
108689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 1
108688 What was the greatest regret you had while or even after working... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 663
108687 What do you do to keep health body? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 735
108686 What was the worst question ever asked of you during an... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 930
108685 TASK ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 741
108684 Describe your greatest fear in an essay. Give at least five (5)... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 1
108683 Interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-20 0
108682 What is a unique way of punctuation or writing in Korea that... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 2
108681 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 961
108680 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1135
108679 Do you think sending your loved ones to nursing homes is a kind... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 2
108678 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 0
108677 Report3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 560
108676 Report2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 601

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04