¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People who has many pets

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*¸²
2021-04-27 784

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat. Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets. However, is it really for owner to raise many animals? I think yes because many animal are friendly. When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely. At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals. In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well. As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness. So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Arim!

Thanks for doing your homework.  This will be of great help for your improvement! Keep it up!

-T. Maine


Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

>>Almost everyone wants to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets.

>>Also, they sometimes think it is happier to raise many animals as their pets.

However, is it really for owner to raise many animals?

>>However, is it really good for owners to raise many animals?

I think yes because many animal are friendly.

>>I think yes because many animals are friendly.

When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely.

>>When we go back to our houses from work, they will welcome us, so we won't be lonely.

At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals.

>>In contrast, I think no because if many animals are in my house, I think I couldn't focus on taking care of each animal.

In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well.

>>In other words, I can't raise them well.

As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness.

>>As a result, if I have many pets, I can't take care of them more than all as well as they can't also give me happiness.

So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

>>So I think it's better to raise only one or two pets.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107521 My expectation ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 2
107520 Rude people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 809
107519 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107518 How do you see yourself in five years? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107517 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 669
107516 What is /are your greatest professional weakness (es)? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107515 [04/12]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107514 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107513 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 4
107512 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 4
107511 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107510 What was the most beneficial sight you have ever seen? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 592
107509 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 546
107508 Do you prefer digital photography or film photography? What¡¯s... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107507 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 643
107506 Yes! It\'s okay! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 530
107505 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 477
107504 My morning prayer every day.(2/2) ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 600
107503 My morning prayer every day. (1/2) ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 581
107502 If can be born again, what kind of life would you like to have... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04