¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People who has many pets

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*¸²
2021-04-27 809

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat. Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets. However, is it really for owner to raise many animals? I think yes because many animal are friendly. When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely. At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals. In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well. As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness. So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Arim!

Thanks for doing your homework.  This will be of great help for your improvement! Keep it up!

-T. Maine


Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

>>Almost everyone wants to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets.

>>Also, they sometimes think it is happier to raise many animals as their pets.

However, is it really for owner to raise many animals?

>>However, is it really good for owners to raise many animals?

I think yes because many animal are friendly.

>>I think yes because many animals are friendly.

When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely.

>>When we go back to our houses from work, they will welcome us, so we won't be lonely.

At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals.

>>In contrast, I think no because if many animals are in my house, I think I couldn't focus on taking care of each animal.

In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well.

>>In other words, I can't raise them well.

As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness.

>>As a result, if I have many pets, I can't take care of them more than all as well as they can't also give me happiness.

So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

>>So I think it's better to raise only one or two pets.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107272 Is it okay to drink ranwater? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 560
107271 Someday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 3
107270 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 459
107269 Who is your role model in your life? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107268 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 588
107267 I would rather work with a female. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 549
107266 Homework 4.7 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 719
107265 My... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 2
107264 Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 580
107263 Who is your role model in your life? Why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107262 Marriage is no longer necessary nowadays. Do you agree or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107261 What would life be like without weekends? Do you have enough... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 626
107260 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 10
107259 Tell me about the proper way of taking care of our skin Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 613
107258 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 591
107257 the synonyms of the words and use them in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107256 how would you know if a person is good or not during your first... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107255 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107254 What is the most beautiful thing in nature? Why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 745
107253 What do you usually do with your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 618

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04