¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People who has many pets

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*¸²
2021-04-27 813

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat. Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets. However, is it really for owner to raise many animals? I think yes because many animal are friendly. When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely. At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals. In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well. As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness. So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Arim!

Thanks for doing your homework.  This will be of great help for your improvement! Keep it up!

-T. Maine


Almost everyone want to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

>>Almost everyone wants to have a pet such as a dog or a cat.

Also, they think sometimes it will be happy to raise many animals for their pets.

>>Also, they sometimes think it is happier to raise many animals as their pets.

However, is it really for owner to raise many animals?

>>However, is it really good for owners to raise many animals?

I think yes because many animal are friendly.

>>I think yes because many animals are friendly.

When we back to the house from the work, they will welcome us as well as we won't be lonely.

>>When we go back to our houses from work, they will welcome us, so we won't be lonely.

At the same time, I think no because If many animals are in my house, I think that I couldn't focus on each animals.

>>In contrast, I think no because if many animals are in my house, I think I couldn't focus on taking care of each animal.

In the other word, It can be happen that I can't take care them well.

>>In other words, I can't raise them well.

As a result, If I have many pets, It is bigger that I can't do well on them than that they give me happiness.

>>As a result, if I have many pets, I can't take care of them more than all as well as they can't also give me happiness.

So, I think it's better to raise one or two pets.

>>So I think it's better to raise only one or two pets.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107252 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107251 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107250 During an interview, what will you do if one of the interviewer... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107249 we can learn many thing about our life cause we can get a... À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 721
107248 My proudest moment. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 555
107247 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 954
107246 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 648
107245 What made you like NCT aside from their looks? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107244 Homework (256) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 580
107243 Healthy food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107242 In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 773
107241 Who is your role model in your life? Why? Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107240 How do you make time for your family? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 469
107239 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 422
107238 I.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107237 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107236 [04/05]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107235 TASK ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 563
107234 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 499
107233 Homeless people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 494

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04