¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that women should also join the military there in Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-27 542

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don¡¯t think so. Because we have women¡¯s army corps so women can join it if they want. But I think it should not be necessarily because women have a period for every months so it will be hard to do it. I think it¡¯s enough with them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! Women joining the military has been a big controversy in South Korea. There has been speculations that it promotes gender inequality. I think that they should allow women to join the military but not mandatorily. Only the volunteers shall enter it because some women are not capable of doing things like that. If you have the ability, then you can. But if you don't, it's fine. :) Thanks for sharing your opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

No, I don¡¯t think so. Because we have women¡¯s army corps so women can join it if they want. 
>> No, I don't think so because there is already a women's army corporation for women who want to join the militay. 

But I think it should not be necessarily because women have a period for every months so it will be hard to do it. 
>> Although I think it should not be necessary because women experience monthly periods so it would be difficult for them to do. 

I think it¡¯s enough with them.
>> I think that would be enough. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107960 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-28 719
107959 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-28 795
107958 Do you agree that cryptocurrency should be taxed? Why or why not? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 603
107957 A review of a new restaurant. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 630
107956 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107955 Homework (271) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 649
107954 The reason I believe in life after death ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 599
107953 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 542
107952 What¡¯s a dysfunctional family? What are some Characteristics Of... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 785
107951 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107950 People who has many pets ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 723
107949 Delivery apps ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 2
107948 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 5
107947 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 651
107946 Do you think you are a helpful person? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 674
107945 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 703
107944 How to broaden my vocabulary ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 599
107943 Are you afraid of making mistakes? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 1
107942 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107941 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 1141

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04