¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that women should also join the military there in Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-27 605

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don¡¯t think so. Because we have women¡¯s army corps so women can join it if they want. But I think it should not be necessarily because women have a period for every months so it will be hard to do it. I think it¡¯s enough with them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! Women joining the military has been a big controversy in South Korea. There has been speculations that it promotes gender inequality. I think that they should allow women to join the military but not mandatorily. Only the volunteers shall enter it because some women are not capable of doing things like that. If you have the ability, then you can. But if you don't, it's fine. :) Thanks for sharing your opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

No, I don¡¯t think so. Because we have women¡¯s army corps so women can join it if they want. 
>> No, I don't think so because there is already a women's army corporation for women who want to join the militay. 

But I think it should not be necessarily because women have a period for every months so it will be hard to do it. 
>> Although I think it should not be necessary because women experience monthly periods so it would be difficult for them to do. 

I think it¡¯s enough with them.
>> I think that would be enough. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107494 What are some good party manners? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107493 What benefits other than personal satisfaction could you... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107492 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107491 How well does your country do in international competitions? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107490 Homework📓 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 581
107489 How is adoption viewed in your country? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 642
107488 What springs to mind when you hear the word ¡®adventure¡¯? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 801
107487 Why don`t you work out? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 555
107486 go went gone Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 757
107485 Is home schooling an effective method of education? Why or why... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107484 If can be born again, what kind of life would you like to have... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107483 How do you greet someone you just met? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 688
107482 One in three people in Congo suffer from acute hunger, warns... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107481 Writing Exercise: Do you prefer digital photography or film... ±è*ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107480 Do you think it\'s important to get physical education in... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 691
107479 If I can be born again ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 736
107478 My toy ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 920
107477 What is the last place would you visit if you could fly? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107476 Refund mail ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107475 Why is it important to greet someone? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 702

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04