¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that corporal punishment is the only way for the present generation to have good manner

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-04-28 784

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I agree that corporal punishment is the only way for the present generation to have good manners.
In today¡¯s class, I said that we would be better not to punish children but the case of corporal punishment is different from children¡¯s education.
Have you ever seen the movie, Blindness?
The movie said that if we don¡¯t have laws, we will kill each other to attain to power.
I totally agree with the movie¡¯s argument.
Once upon a time, we didn¡¯t have laws, so we kill each other to attain to power.
But, after laws and nations that control people appeared, we could control the fights.
Therefore, if we don¡¯t have laws and corporal punishment, our generation won¡¯t maintain good manners. Laws and corporal punishment are important factors that sustain the whole world

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Q: Do you agree that corporal punishment is the only way for the present generation to have good manners back? Explain. 

Actually, I agree that corporal punishment is the only way for the present generation to have good manners.
>>> CORRECT

In today¡¯s class, I said that we would be better not to punish children but the case of corporal punishment is different from children¡¯s education.
>>> In today¡¯s class, I have said that it would be better not to punish children but the case of corporal punishment is different from children¡¯s education because it's for them to have manners.

Have you ever seen the movie, Blindness?
>>> CORRECT

The movie said that if we don¡¯t have laws, we will kill each other to attain to power.
>>> The movie said that if we don¡¯t have laws, we will kill each other to attain power.

I totally agree with the movie¡¯s argument.
>>> CORRECT

Once upon a time, we didn¡¯t have laws, so we kill each other to attain to power.
>>> Once upon a time, we don¡¯t have laws, so we will kill each other to attain power.
OR: In the past, we don¡¯t have laws, so we will kill each other to attain power.

But, after laws and nations that control people appeared, we could control the fights.
>>> CORRECT
OR: But, after laws and nations that control people appeared, like United Nations, we started to control the fights and the killings.

Therefore, if we don¡¯t have laws and corporal punishment, our generation won¡¯t maintain good manners. 
>>> CORRECT

Laws and corporal punishments are important factors that sustain the whole world. 
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107066 What do you think is the best food to eat in the morning? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107065 Do you have a plan for this coming weekend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1117
107064 my pronunciation is omg... Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1778
107063 Homework (252) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1362
107062 What are some of the difficulties being self employed ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1
107061 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2
107060 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1411
107059 What is a tag question? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1254
107058 How is my family feature? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1492
107057 I want.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107056 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107055 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107054 I like... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107053 Choosing the right noun. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1722
107052 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 955
107051 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1791
107050 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1025
107049 Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1332
107048 My favorite restaurant ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107047 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04