¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

obese

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¹Î
2021-04-29 769

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think being obese is danger. it can led to many disease.
First, It can led to high blood pressure. High blood pressure is very danger. And Iif it is very serious it can led to die.
Second, obese can also led to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other disease. it's all very dangerous.
So that's why I think obese is very danger.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for this Jed.
- T. Beth
============================
I think being obese is danger. 
>>> I think being obese is dangerous.    
it can led to many disease.
>>> It can led to many diseases.  
First, It can led to high blood pressure. 
>>> First, it can lead to high blood pressure.  
High blood pressure is very danger. 
>>> High blood pressure is very dangerous. 
And Iif it is very serious it can led to die.
>>> And if it is very serious it can lead to death.   
Second, obese can also led to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other disease. 
>>> Second, obese can also lead to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other diseases.      
it's all very dangerous.
>>> correct   
So that's why I think obese is very danger.
>>>  So that's why I think being obese is very dangerous.  

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108111 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108110 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108109 When do you usually have a family reunion? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 618
108108 Full vaccinated people can skip 14-day self-isolation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108107 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108106 Have you been in an interview where you felt like you are better... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108105 homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 506
108104 What¡¯s the best thing about your mom or dad? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 602
108103 How do you entertain your visitors? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 575
108102 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 1
108101 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 0
108100 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 0
108099 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 0
108098 If you can have your own restaurant, what food do you want to... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 741
108097 Homework(4.30) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 792
108096 What was your worst moment during your Puberty? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 1
108095 My favorite Englisg nanes. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-02 3
108094 What\'s the best thing about musicals? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-01 463
108093 What part of Korean history do you hate the most? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-01 763
108092 Tell me about one of the recent business trips you took. Where... ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-01 652

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04