¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-04-29 874

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I studied English to transfer to a university in 2016. and I remember studying really hard at that time. At that time, I studied at an academy for a year to go to another university. At that time, I studied at an academy for a year to go to another university. That was the hardest time of my life to study. Although I couldn't go to a very good university, my parents buying me a good laptop because I succeeded in transferring to college.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I studied English to transfer to a university in 2016. and I remember studying really hard at that time. 
>> I studied English to transfer to a university in 201 and I remember studying really hard at that time. 

At that time, I studied at an academy for a year to go to another university. 
>> At that time, I studied at an academy for a year to go to another university. 

At that time, I studied at an academy for a year to go to another university. 
>> REDUNDANT SENTENCE. 

That was the hardest time of my life to study. 
>> That was the hardest time of my life while studying. 

Although I couldn't go to a very good university, my parents buying me a good laptop because I succeeded in transferring to college.
>> Despite me not entering a very good university, my parents still bought me a laptop because I succeeded in transferring to college.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108901 Snack ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 393
108900 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 692
108899 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 409
108898 Tour places ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 429
108897 tell me about your favorite drink ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 604
108896 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: What would you say is the cheapest way... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 991
108895 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: What foods from your country do you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 645
108894 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 3
108893 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Who are your favorite actors and... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 574
108892 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Do people in your town or city often... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 591
108891 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 589
108890 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 515
108889 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108888 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108887 Homework 5.27 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 625
108886 Challenges improve myself Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 470
108885 Home work! ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 497
108884 Describe your favorite WEATHER AND SEASON in an essay. º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108883 What do you think is the most dangerous crime in the world? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108882 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1083

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04