¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Would you consider living in a retirement home when you\'re older? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-04-30 765

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Would you consider living in a retirement home when you're older? Why or why not?

I don't know exactly what the retirement home is, but just based on my first impression of it, I don't prefer living in a retirement home despite when I get very older.
As long as I'm able to do something in the future, I want to be a member of society. Because I want to do what I can for someone, and also it makes me to feel that I'm living.
As I was writing, I came to talk about retirement rather than answers as to whether or not I prefer to live in a retirement home.
Please let me know next time what a retirement home is. Thanks.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Homer. :) 

A retirement home is a place where the elderly stay when they are quite too old to take care of themselves. 
Usually, in Korea, the children of elderly people send their parents to retirement homes so that the nurses there can take better care of them. 
Thank you for your time and effort in making a composition. ^^

~t. Ally


--------------

I don't know exactly what the retirement home is, but just based on my first impression of it, I don't prefer living in a retirement home despite when I get very older.
>> I don't know what a retirement home is, exactly, but based on my first impression of it, I don't prefer living in a retirement home when I become older.

As long as I'm able to do something in the future, I want to be a member of society. 
>> CORRECT!

Because I want to do what I can for someone, and also it makes me to feel that I'm living.
>> Because I want to do what I can for others, and it also makes me feel alive.

As I was writing, I came to talk about retirement rather than answers as to whether or not I prefer to live in a retirement home.
>> As I was writing, I ended up talking about retirement rather than answering whether or not I prefer to live in a retirement home.

Please let me know next time what a retirement home is. Thanks.
>>  CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107922 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 1
107921 I think that almost children leave their family or parents at... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 735
107920 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 633
107919 What country would you like to visit someday? And why. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 559
107918 Dose your hobby influence your choice of friend? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 2
107917 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107916 Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 722
107915 Which part of your country do most people live in? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 572
107914 homework_21.04.22 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 2
107913 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107912 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 4
107911 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1
107910 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 541
107909 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107908 Homework (270) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 652
107907 The reason why I want to go back in time and be a little kid... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 642
107906 Fear of the mistake ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 677
107905 How do you think Korea will welcome Youn Yuh-Jung back to Korea... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 594
107904 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 650
107903 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04