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영작교정 게시판

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In your country, do you think underdeveloped places should be maintained in its natural condition or

작성자: 문*현
2021-04-30 628

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, I believe we should transform underdeveloped places into the residential area. Many Korean’s after getting a job and married is to own a house. Alongside this, due to the low interest rate and a lack of regulations and laws protecting stock investments, Korean regard property as the haven. Most importantly, there are few areas in Korea where the price range is high, and it tends to uptick because many people wish to buy a house near the place because of educational and working purposes. Therefore, demand is extremely high, but supply could not catch up. In this sense, there should be more housing supply near famous regions to stop the real estate market from overheating. For example, there is a Gaepo district in Gangnam, which is underdeveloped but has high potential because it is near the popular regions. Public administration should consider developing this area to relocate many demands to cool down the entire market.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

In my opinion, I believe we should transform underdeveloped places into the residential area. 
>>>> In my opinion, I believe we should transform underdeveloped places into a residential area.   
Many Korean’s after getting a job and married is to own a house. 
>>>>  Many Koreans, after getting a job and getting married, try to own a house.  
Alongside this, due to the low interest rate and a lack of regulations and laws protecting stock investments, Korean regard property as the haven. 
>>>> correct  
Most importantly, there are few areas in Korea where the price range is high, and it tends to uptick because many people wish to buy a house near the place because of educational and working purposes. 
>>>> correct  
>>>> OR: Most importantly, there are few areas in Korea where the price range is high, and it tends to uptick because many people wish to buy a house near the place for educational and working purposes. 
Therefore, demand is extremely high, but supply could not catch up. 
>>>> correct  
In this sense, there should be more housing supply near famous regions to stop the real estate market from overheating. 
>>>> correct   
For example, there is a Gaepo district in Gangnam, which is underdeveloped but has high potential because it is near the popular regions. 
>>>> correct  
Public administration should consider developing this area to relocate many demands to cool down the entire market.
>>>>  OR: Public administration should consider developing this area to relocate many demands to ease the entire market. 

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