¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-30 597

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can reward myself for living untill now.
Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
But I am living in my house very normaly.
Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I can reward myself for living untill now.
>>  I can reward myself by living my life right now. 

Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
>> CORRECT

Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
>>Many people are in war and many people want lots of money.

Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
>> Some want power and use it in a bad way. 

Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
>> Because of these reasons, many people die in a day.

But I am living in my house very normaly.
>> As of now, I am living my life normally. 

Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
>> Even though there is COVID, I still live my live normally. 

So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.
>> That's why I am thankful with what I have right now and I want to reward myself for being contented with it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108434 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 501
108433 What will you do if you experience discrimination when you visit... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 530
108432 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 652
108431 Write about vending machines in your country and how amazing... ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 532
108430 Is traffic a serious problem in your city? What do you usually... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 544
108429 Celltrion to export COVID-19 treatment to Pakistan À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108428 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 931
108427 What was your greatest accomplishment in your life? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 492
108426 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 893
108425 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108424 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108423 How has your town or city changed over your lifetime? Ȳ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 714
108422 If you had teleporting abilities, what¡¯s the first place you... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 523
108421 writing sentences ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108420 Homework 10 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 1
108419 Home work(5.10) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 560
108418 Homework 9 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 0
108417 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 2
108416 Homework 8 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 0
108415 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-12 859

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04