¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-30 655

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can reward myself for living untill now.
Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
But I am living in my house very normaly.
Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I can reward myself for living untill now.
>>  I can reward myself by living my life right now. 

Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
>> CORRECT

Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
>>Many people are in war and many people want lots of money.

Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
>> Some want power and use it in a bad way. 

Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
>> Because of these reasons, many people die in a day.

But I am living in my house very normaly.
>> As of now, I am living my life normally. 

Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
>> Even though there is COVID, I still live my live normally. 

So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.
>> That's why I am thankful with what I have right now and I want to reward myself for being contented with it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107804 A country I want to visit ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 4
107803 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 695
107802 Make a sentence with the word sick ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 641
107801 I will go to family trip someday!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 698
107800 How can we minimize bullying? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 598
107799 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 779
107798 Do you think insurance is very important? Why or why not? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 0
107797 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 7
107796 homework_21.04.20 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 4
107795 What is the best way to manage conflicts with co-workers? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 1
107794 Tell me some company issues that may affect your long-term goals. À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 1
107793 computer game is not good for children Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 748
107792 What is the biggest change this world needs? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 0
107791 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 649
107790 How do you make a good first impression? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 578
107789 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 1
107788 I think of only one ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 594
107787 When was the first time you went to the cinema? What did you see? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 666
107786 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 892
107785 homework ¾È*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 547

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04