¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-30 724

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can reward myself for living untill now.
Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
But I am living in my house very normaly.
Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I can reward myself for living untill now.
>>  I can reward myself by living my life right now. 

Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
>> CORRECT

Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
>>Many people are in war and many people want lots of money.

Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
>> Some want power and use it in a bad way. 

Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
>> Because of these reasons, many people die in a day.

But I am living in my house very normaly.
>> As of now, I am living my life normally. 

Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
>> Even though there is COVID, I still live my live normally. 

So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.
>> That's why I am thankful with what I have right now and I want to reward myself for being contented with it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106862 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2
106861 What do you understand about dreaming? Does it have any specific... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3808
106860 the advantages and disadvantages of learning English in an... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3313
106859 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3661
106858 Please see this message Sharon,, Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 1
106857 Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at us... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3676
106856 Homework (247) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3275
106855 The biggest change this world needs. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3593
106854 Do you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4
106853 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3105
106852 What makes you happy? ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4090
106851 Interview question ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106850 Failure makes me better! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3173
106849 The best season for trip ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106848 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2985
106847 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106846 What is the first thing you search about the company you want to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3192
106845 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2830
106844 0323 Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106843 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04