¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-30 738

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can reward myself for living untill now.
Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
But I am living in my house very normaly.
Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I can reward myself for living untill now.
>>  I can reward myself by living my life right now. 

Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
>> CORRECT

Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
>>Many people are in war and many people want lots of money.

Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
>> Some want power and use it in a bad way. 

Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
>> Because of these reasons, many people die in a day.

But I am living in my house very normaly.
>> As of now, I am living my life normally. 

Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
>> Even though there is COVID, I still live my live normally. 

So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.
>> That's why I am thankful with what I have right now and I want to reward myself for being contented with it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106803 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3368
106802 Make cookie and puddig. ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2567
106801 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3152
106800 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4686
106799 Boys and girls, be ambitious! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3040
106798 What are the biggest problems with living in cities? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4060
106797 I was went to a cafe Viaggio. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3044
106796 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 0
106795 Have nice answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3096
106794 Make or compose three3 sentences using the verb LEARN\' ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3093
106793 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106792 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3323
106791 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2861
106790 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3293
106789 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2546
106788 My favorite food. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4
106787 Good day to you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4
106786 If I can, I want to do Climbing once. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2817
106785 Some people say that because we can now watch films on our... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4193
106784 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04