¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Social problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-05-06 737

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don,

As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea. Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is no relationship between human being. When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son have only few friends and no neighborhood. my son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and game. after finishing these thing, I think they feel loneliness. As I know, there is a little school violence yet. so weak student scares to go school. because of school violence, they kill them selves. that is tragedy. that is a serious social problem now. and we have to solve this problem not to die more people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy TGIF Andrew!

See you later in our class.

T. DON


Dear Don,

As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea.
>> As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea.

Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is no relationship between human being.
>> Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is distant relationship between human beings.


When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son have only few friends and no neighborhood. my son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and game.
>> When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son has a few friends and there were no neighbors. My son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and through online games.

After finishing these thing, I think they feel loneliness.
>> After finishing these things, I think they feel lonely.

As I know, there is a little school violence yet.
>> As I know, there is just a few incident of school violence.

So weak student scares to go school. because of school violence, they kill them selves. that is tragedy. that is a serious social problem now. and we have to solve this problem not to die more people.
>> So weak students are scared to go to school because of school violence or bullying. They commit suicide. That is a tragedy. That is a serious social problem now and we have to solve this problem to save the lives of the young generation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107452 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 733
107451 leader Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 642
107450 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 3
107449 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 551
107448 My country Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 637
107447 What was the most exciting thing that happened to you this... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107446 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107445 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107444 home work(4.12) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1053
107443 Are there any foods or flavors which you didn\'t use to like... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 602
107442 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107441 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 937
107440 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107439 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 524
107438 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 761
107437 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 420
107436 Homework (260) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 614
107435 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1
107434 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107433 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 527

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04