¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Social problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-05-06 756

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don,

As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea. Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is no relationship between human being. When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son have only few friends and no neighborhood. my son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and game. after finishing these thing, I think they feel loneliness. As I know, there is a little school violence yet. so weak student scares to go school. because of school violence, they kill them selves. that is tragedy. that is a serious social problem now. and we have to solve this problem not to die more people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy TGIF Andrew!

See you later in our class.

T. DON


Dear Don,

As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea.
>> As I said, These days, Many students kill themselves in Korea.

Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is no relationship between human being.
>> Now, we have a lot of money than the past time, but there is distant relationship between human beings.


When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son have only few friends and no neighborhood. my son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and game.
>> When I was young, I had a lot of neighborhoods and friends. but my son has a few friends and there were no neighbors. My son communicate his friends by internet and smart phone and through online games.

After finishing these thing, I think they feel loneliness.
>> After finishing these things, I think they feel lonely.

As I know, there is a little school violence yet.
>> As I know, there is just a few incident of school violence.

So weak student scares to go school. because of school violence, they kill them selves. that is tragedy. that is a serious social problem now. and we have to solve this problem not to die more people.
>> So weak students are scared to go to school because of school violence or bullying. They commit suicide. That is a tragedy. That is a serious social problem now and we have to solve this problem to save the lives of the young generation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107251 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107250 During an interview, what will you do if one of the interviewer... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107249 we can learn many thing about our life cause we can get a... À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 735
107248 My proudest moment. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 568
107247 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 966
107246 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 660
107245 What made you like NCT aside from their looks? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107244 Homework (256) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 595
107243 Healthy food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107242 In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 782
107241 Who is your role model in your life? Why? Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107240 How do you make time for your family? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 479
107239 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 431
107238 I.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107237 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107236 [04/05]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107235 TASK ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 574
107234 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 509
107233 Homeless people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 507
107232 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 667

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04