무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.

작성자: 권*원
2021-05-06 700

회원님의 영작문

Father’s mistake shouldn’t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren’t the people who commit a crime.
In Korea, it is forbidden for parent’s sins to be passed on to children.
However, even if children didn’t inherit parent’s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal’s family even his or her children.
From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
The children who couldn’t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
Actually, most criminals haven’t been loved by society and their family.
Therefore, we should guarantee the children’s privacy and rather we should protect them.
If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.


Father’s mistake shouldn’t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren’t the people who commit a crime.
>>> CORRECT
OR: A father's mistake shouldn’t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren’t the ones who committed the crime. 

In Korea, it is forbidden for parent’s sins to be passed on to children.
>>> CORRECT
OR: In Korea, it is forbidden for parent’s sins to be passed on to their children.

However, even if children didn’t inherit parent’s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
>>> However, even if the children didn’t inherit their parent’s sins, our society ostracizes their children thoroughly.

If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal’s family even his or her children.
>>> If someone commits a crime, most of their neighbors who knew will start to ignore and treat them as outcasts of the criminal's family including their children. They even treat them as a criminal too. 

From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
>>> CORRECT

The children who couldn’t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
>>> CORRECT
OR: These children whom society couldn't love will be forced to commit a crime like their parents. 

Actually, most criminals haven’t been loved by society and their family.
>>> Actually, most criminals haven’t been loved by society and their families.

Therefore, we should guarantee the children’s privacy and rather we should protect them.
>>> Therefore, we should guarantee these children’s privacy, and rather we should protect them.

If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.
>>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
111124 Homework 임*민 완료 2021-08-23 2
111123 Who is taller 기*현 완료 2021-08-23 507
111122 21/08/18 박*현 완료 2021-08-23 423
111121 Seoul education chief hints at allowing more in-person classes 유*진 완료 2021-08-23 1
111120 Link for class contents 송*철 완료 2021-08-23 397
111119 The Death Toll In Denali Increases, Which Happens Normal... 홍*혜 완료 2021-08-23 495
111118 Homework 김*효 완료 2021-08-23 400
111117 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-08-23 2
111116 will\'s offer 윤*진 완료 2021-08-23 3
111115 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-08-23 3
111114 adventure things 정*아 완료 2021-08-23 357
111113 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? 하*조 완료 2021-08-23 573
111112 Homework(*^O^*) 정*희 완료 2021-08-23 392
111111 The hardest thing to cook: Gimchi 권*정 완료 2021-08-23 488
111110 What were your best and worst trips? 홍*빈 완료 2021-08-23 529
111109 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... 박*주 완료 2021-08-22 481
111108 If I moved to another country, I would miss... 권*미 완료 2021-08-22 472
111107 Can you remember the last gift you were given? Did you like it? 노*이 완료 2021-08-22 1
111106 What festivals do you have in your city? Can you explain what... 오*은 완료 2021-08-22 377
111105 ielts task 1 bar graph 이*구 완료 2021-08-22 401

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]