¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-05-06 496

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Father¡¯s mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the people who commit a crime.
In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to children.
However, even if children didn¡¯t inherit parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal¡¯s family even his or her children.
From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
The children who couldn¡¯t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their family.
Therefore, we should guarantee the children¡¯s privacy and rather we should protect them.
If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.


Father¡¯s mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the people who commit a crime.
>>> CORRECT
OR: A father's mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the ones who committed the crime. 

In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to children.
>>> CORRECT
OR: In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to their children.

However, even if children didn¡¯t inherit parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
>>> However, even if the children didn¡¯t inherit their parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes their children thoroughly.

If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal¡¯s family even his or her children.
>>> If someone commits a crime, most of their neighbors who knew will start to ignore and treat them as outcasts of the criminal's family including their children. They even treat them as a criminal too. 

From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
>>> CORRECT

The children who couldn¡¯t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
>>> CORRECT
OR: These children whom society couldn't love will be forced to commit a crime like their parents. 

Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their family.
>>> Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their families.

Therefore, we should guarantee the children¡¯s privacy and rather we should protect them.
>>> Therefore, we should guarantee these children¡¯s privacy, and rather we should protect them.

If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108353 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 807
108352 Did you know that Abraham Lincoln supposedly foresaw his own... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 564
108351 Do you walk every day? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 834
108350 Homework 5.10.MON ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 662
108349 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 604
108348 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 3
108347 Staying in Hanok ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 892
108346 Yes...but the reason is too bad..¤Ì¤Ì ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 674
108345 If you were on a deserted island, what would you bring and why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 684
108344 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108343 Why do wear shous? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 602
108342 How did your parents raise you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 585
108341 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 577
108340 late flight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2
108339 Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 539
108338 What do you and your family like to do together ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 457
108337 Homework 5.10 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 612
108336 Do you like making friends with other people? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 526
108335 How life was in Seoul during your studies in Medical School. ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 578
108334 How did your parents raise you? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04