¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-05-06 620

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Father¡¯s mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the people who commit a crime.
In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to children.
However, even if children didn¡¯t inherit parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal¡¯s family even his or her children.
From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
The children who couldn¡¯t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their family.
Therefore, we should guarantee the children¡¯s privacy and rather we should protect them.
If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Do you believe that a father\'s mistake should be paid for by the daughter or the son? Explain.


Father¡¯s mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the people who commit a crime.
>>> CORRECT
OR: A father's mistake shouldn¡¯t be paid for by the daughter or the son because they aren¡¯t the ones who committed the crime. 

In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to children.
>>> CORRECT
OR: In Korea, it is forbidden for parent¡¯s sins to be passed on to their children.

However, even if children didn¡¯t inherit parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes the children thoroughly.
>>> However, even if the children didn¡¯t inherit their parent¡¯s sins, our society ostracizes their children thoroughly.

If someone commits a crime, most neighboring people know the fact and start to ignore criminal¡¯s family even his or her children.
>>> If someone commits a crime, most of their neighbors who knew will start to ignore and treat them as outcasts of the criminal's family including their children. They even treat them as a criminal too. 

From that moment, the children are abandoned by society.
>>> CORRECT

The children who couldn¡¯t be loved by society commit a crime like their parents.
>>> CORRECT
OR: These children whom society couldn't love will be forced to commit a crime like their parents. 

Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their family.
>>> Actually, most criminals haven¡¯t been loved by society and their families.

Therefore, we should guarantee the children¡¯s privacy and rather we should protect them.
>>> Therefore, we should guarantee these children¡¯s privacy, and rather we should protect them.

If they can be loved by society, crime rates in our society can be lowered.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107432 Moon takes election rout as reprimand from the public, Cheon Wa... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1
107431 [04/09]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1
107430 Radio ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107429 Can any object be a musical instrument if it¡¯s used to make... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 611
107428 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107427 Rain! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 840
107426 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 482
107425 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 379
107424 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 4
107423 How do you spend your leisure time? ±è*ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107422 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107421 What skill do you want to learn in the future and why? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 598
107420 What comes to mind when you hear the word new ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 406
107419 Yes! I saw it!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 499
107418 Homework {04/12} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 581
107417 What is your favorite commercial? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 529
107416 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 1055
107415 What skill do you want to learn in the future and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0
107414 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 547
107413 What skill do you want to learn in the future and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04