¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Personally, do you think investing in stocks at an early age is a good investment for young people i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-05-07 684

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, it depends on people.
If the people who invested in stocks in their 20s have studied stock markets thoroughly, investing in stocks at an early age is encouraged.
But if people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks after listening to people around you, it isn¡¯t encouraged.
Actually, in our world, there aren¡¯t free things.
Every people can get some things as a reward for their hard study.
For studying, if we have studied hard in our childhood, we can go to a good university.
But, if we haven¡¯t studied hard, it is just greed to hope to go to a good university.
Stocks are similar to this case.
If someone haven¡¯t studied hard about stocks, he can¡¯t get a success.
Wanting to success without study is just greed.
Therefore, if we want to get a success, we have to study.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Personally, do you think investing in stocks at an early age is a good investment for young people in their 20s? Explain.

Actually, it depends on people.
>>> Actually, it depends on the person.

If the people who invested in stocks in their 20s have studied stock markets thoroughly, investing in stocks at an early age is encouraged.
>>> If the people who invested have studied stock markets thoroughly, then investing in stocks at an early age such as people in their 20s is encouraged.

But if people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks after listening to people around you, it isn¡¯t encouraged.
>>> But if the people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks just after listening to other people around them, it isn¡¯t encouraged.

Actually, in our world, there aren¡¯t free things.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Actually, in our world, nothing is for free.

Every people can get some things as a reward for their hard study.
>>> Each person can get some things as a reward for their hard work.

For studying, if we have studied hard in our childhood, we can go to a good university.
>>> CORRECT

But, if we haven¡¯t studied hard, it is just greed to hope to go to a good university.
>>> But, if we haven¡¯t studied hard, then it is just too ambitious to hope to enter a good university.

Stocks are similar to this case.
>>> CORRECT

If someone haven¡¯t studied hard about stocks, he can¡¯t get a success.
>>> If someone hasn¡¯t studied hard about stocks, then he can¡¯t get success.
OR: If someone hasn¡¯t studied hard about stocks, then he can¡¯t be successful in it. 

Wanting to success without study is just greed.
>>> Wanting to succeed without studying or hard work is just too ambitious.

Therefore, if we want to get a success, we have to study.
>>> Therefore, if we want to get success, then we have to study hard or we have to work hard for it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108867 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108866 . think ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 470
108865 Homework {05/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 427
108864 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 434
108863 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 430
108862 1st homework JB ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 378
108861 Unusual food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 369
108860 Actors and actresses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108859 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 394
108858 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108857 If you can sell anything from your valuable things, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108856 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108855 Number of foreigners in Korea slides to 50-month low À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108854 How do you usually cope with stress? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108853 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108852 Tell me about a strange dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 0
108851 Home work(5.26) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 379
108850 Home work(5.24) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 414
108849 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 396
108848 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 383

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04