무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Personally, do you think investing in stocks at an early age is a good investment for young people i

작성자: 권*원
2021-05-07 773

회원님의 영작문

Actually, it depends on people.
If the people who invested in stocks in their 20s have studied stock markets thoroughly, investing in stocks at an early age is encouraged.
But if people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks after listening to people around you, it isn’t encouraged.
Actually, in our world, there aren’t free things.
Every people can get some things as a reward for their hard study.
For studying, if we have studied hard in our childhood, we can go to a good university.
But, if we haven’t studied hard, it is just greed to hope to go to a good university.
Stocks are similar to this case.
If someone haven’t studied hard about stocks, he can’t get a success.
Wanting to success without study is just greed.
Therefore, if we want to get a success, we have to study.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Personally, do you think investing in stocks at an early age is a good investment for young people in their 20s? Explain.

Actually, it depends on people.
>>> Actually, it depends on the person.

If the people who invested in stocks in their 20s have studied stock markets thoroughly, investing in stocks at an early age is encouraged.
>>> If the people who invested have studied stock markets thoroughly, then investing in stocks at an early age such as people in their 20s is encouraged.

But if people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks after listening to people around you, it isn’t encouraged.
>>> But if the people who have never studied stock markets want to invest in stocks just after listening to other people around them, it isn’t encouraged.

Actually, in our world, there aren’t free things.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Actually, in our world, nothing is for free.

Every people can get some things as a reward for their hard study.
>>> Each person can get some things as a reward for their hard work.

For studying, if we have studied hard in our childhood, we can go to a good university.
>>> CORRECT

But, if we haven’t studied hard, it is just greed to hope to go to a good university.
>>> But, if we haven’t studied hard, then it is just too ambitious to hope to enter a good university.

Stocks are similar to this case.
>>> CORRECT

If someone haven’t studied hard about stocks, he can’t get a success.
>>> If someone hasn’t studied hard about stocks, then he can’t get success.
OR: If someone hasn’t studied hard about stocks, then he can’t be successful in it. 

Wanting to success without study is just greed.
>>> Wanting to succeed without studying or hard work is just too ambitious.

Therefore, if we want to get a success, we have to study.
>>> Therefore, if we want to get success, then we have to study hard or we have to work hard for it.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
107970 Homework 2 사* 완료 2021-04-28 1
107969 Homework 1 사* 완료 2021-04-28 2
107968 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-04-28 1
107967 Task 이*준 완료 2021-04-28 802
107966 Happiness! 이*하 완료 2021-04-28 644
107965 What are the things that you want to collect? 김*하 완료 2021-04-28 750
107964 Work2 김*영 완료 2021-04-28 615
107963 Work1 김*영 완료 2021-04-28 1378
107962 Could tell me about your memorable graduation experience? 하*조 완료 2021-04-28 663
107961 Homework: Do you believe that people must work hard to become... 김*성 완료 2021-04-28 753
107960 Homework 김*효 완료 2021-04-28 809
107959 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... 김*열 완료 2021-04-28 890
107958 Do you agree that cryptocurrency should be taxed? Why or why not? 권*원 완료 2021-04-27 720
107957 A review of a new restaurant. 김*환 완료 2021-04-27 719
107956 interview Q 권*시 완료 2021-04-27 0
107955 Homework (271) 박*하 완료 2021-04-27 731
107954 The reason I believe in life after death 김*원 완료 2021-04-27 694
107953 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... 김*원 완료 2021-04-27 603
107952 What’s a dysfunctional family? What are some Characteristics Of... 김*연 완료 2021-04-27 892
107951 homework 김*비 완료 2021-04-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]