¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you and your family like to do together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-05-10 625

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. My second child will get marriage in next year. I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. But he doesn't want to walk for long time. He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. We will retire one more time from current job. We plan a cruise travel. I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Mandeep!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

My second child will get marriage in next year. 
>> My second child will get married next year. 

I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. 
>>  I usually have all the time with my wife after my first retirement.


we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. 
>> We like to go for walk for 2~4 hours along the Han River. 

Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

But he doesn't want to walk for long time. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. 
>> CORRECT!

I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
>> I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
We will retire one more time from current job. 

We plan a cruise travel. 
>> We planned a cruise travel.

I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110741 Homework (311) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 337
110740 If you could have a superpower, what superpower would it be and... À±*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 459
110739 Do you have a family photo? What is it\'s relevance? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110738 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 403
110737 reading mystery books ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 581
110736 What\'s your favorite subject? Why do you like it? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110735 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110734 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 369
110733 The rest of my life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 519
110731 I wants to play a game called Halligalli with my grandmother and... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 461
110730 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110729 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 440
110728 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 4
110727 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 465
110726 What is the best thing about the internet? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110725 9th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110724 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 601
110723 If you had a business, what kind of business would it be? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110722 How do you think athletes measure their success? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04