¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you and your family like to do together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-05-10 572

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. My second child will get marriage in next year. I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. But he doesn't want to walk for long time. He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. We will retire one more time from current job. We plan a cruise travel. I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Mandeep!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

My second child will get marriage in next year. 
>> My second child will get married next year. 

I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. 
>>  I usually have all the time with my wife after my first retirement.


we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. 
>> We like to go for walk for 2~4 hours along the Han River. 

Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

But he doesn't want to walk for long time. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. 
>> CORRECT!

I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
>> I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
We will retire one more time from current job. 

We plan a cruise travel. 
>> We planned a cruise travel.

I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110077 Why do you think is it harder for old people to accept change? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 1
110076 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 408
110075 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0
110074 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 4
110073 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 642
110072 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 454
110071 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 382
110070 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 582
110069 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 430
110068 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 460
110067 Homework 7.15 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 516
110066 Homework 7.15 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 346
110065 It is observed in many countries that less and less people... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 431
110064 If you have a lot of things to get done in one week, how do you... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 2
110063 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 3
110062 What images spring to mind when you hear the word \'teaching\' ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 444
110061 Feeling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 628
110060 Why should we avoid junk food? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 455
110059 Be ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 8
110058 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04