¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you and your family like to do together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-05-10 520

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. My second child will get marriage in next year. I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. But he doesn't want to walk for long time. He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. We will retire one more time from current job. We plan a cruise travel. I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Mandeep!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

My second child will get marriage in next year. 
>> My second child will get married next year. 

I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. 
>>  I usually have all the time with my wife after my first retirement.


we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. 
>> We like to go for walk for 2~4 hours along the Han River. 

Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

But he doesn't want to walk for long time. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. 
>> CORRECT!

I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
>> I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
We will retire one more time from current job. 

We plan a cruise travel. 
>> We planned a cruise travel.

I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109770 What is a perfect relationship? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 3
109769 Some people think women should be given equal chances to work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 302
109768 What will you do if your boss is requesting information that you... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 278
109767 My son ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 4
109766 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 431
109765 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109764 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109763 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 343
109762 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 332
109761 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 364
109760 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 561
109759 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 389
109758 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 310
109757 ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 309
109756 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 397
109755 Do you advise people in Korea to take the Covid vaccine? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109754 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 373
109753 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 571
109752 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 455
109751 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04