¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you and your family like to do together

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-05-10 462

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. My second child will get marriage in next year. I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. But he doesn't want to walk for long time. He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. We will retire one more time from current job. We plan a cruise travel. I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Mandeep!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you really did great. :) Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I live with my wife and a pet dog in apartment now. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

Because my older child lives in another city after marriage, and my second child lives apart from my house. 
>> I live with my wife and a pet dog in an apartment now, because my children live far away from us. 

My second child will get marriage in next year. 
>> My second child will get married next year. 

I usually have all the time with my wife after first retirement. 
>>  I usually have all the time with my wife after my first retirement.


we like to go for walk 2~4 hours along with Han Liver and promenade. 
>> We like to go for walk for 2~4 hours along the Han River. 

Sometimes my dog accompanies a walk. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

But he doesn't want to walk for long time. 
>> Sometimes our dog accompanies us in our walk, but he doesn't want to walk for a long time.

He seems uncomfortable physically to walk for long time, because of old age. 
>> CORRECT!

I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
>> I will travel the world with my lovely wife after 4~5 years later. 
We will retire one more time from current job. 

We plan a cruise travel. 
>> We planned a cruise travel.

I hope there will be no global issues like Corona at that time.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108208 essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 1014
108207 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 675
108206 The best gift. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 3
108205 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 2
108204 Student status ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 416
108203 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 599
108202 What would you do if you where homeless? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 504
108201 Have you considered working abroad? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 1
108200 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 0
108199 Why I want to study deeply on motivation Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 614
108198 How do you think western families and eastern families differ? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 546
108197 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 642
108196 Talk about a current issue in Korea where you are greatly... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 1
108195 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 535
108194 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 2
108193 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 818
108192 What place do you plan to visit after this pandemic? And why. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 591
108191 Pet grooming academies accused of animal abuse À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 1
108190 When do you have family reunions? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-05 657
108189 [4/30]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04