¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-05-10 443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I fully agree with this idea. Teenagers are impulsive and they love speed, dangerous situation and sometimes lose their mind. There have been a lot of car accidents at night. Teenagers who didn't have a drive license brought their parents key and enjoyed driving at late night and was in a car accident involved death themselves and other people sometimes. Theses days, our government asked elderly to return their license and provide little money because their general ability are weaker so there are many chances to cause accident. The license system in my country should also be more strict because people can easily get license if they register driving institute and pay money. There are written and practice tests but people easily forget what they learnt when they are on the road. To guarantee drivers safety, we need to train them a lot and also encourage them to practice driving skill before they are on the road.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Thank you for doing your homework! Keep writing! Keep learning! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I fully agree with this idea.
>>> CORRECT
 Teenagers are impulsive and they love speed, dangerous situation and sometimes lose their mind. 
>>>  Teenagers are impulsive and they love speeding which leads to dangerous situation and sometimes lose their mind. 
There have been a lot of car accidents at night.
>>> CORRECT
 Teenagers who didn't have a drive license brought their parents key and enjoyed driving at late night and was in a car accident involved death themselves and other people sometimes.
>>>  Teenagers who don't have a driver's license get their parents key and enjoy driving late at night and could be involved in car accidents which lead to their death and other people sometimes.
 Theses days, our government asked elderly to return their license and provide little money because their general ability are weaker so there are many chances to cause accident. 
>>>  These days, our government asked the elderly to return their license and will be supported with a little amount of money because their general ability is weaker so there are many chances to cause accidents. 
The license system in my country should also be more strict because people can easily get license if they register driving institute and pay money. 
>>> The license system in my country should also be more strict because people can easily get license if they register in driving institute and pay money. 
There are written and practice tests but people easily forget what they learnt when they are on the road. 
>>> CORRECT
To guarantee drivers safety, we need to train them a lot and also encourage them to practice driving skill before they are on the road.
>>> To guarantee drivers' safety, we need to train them a lot and also encourage them to practice driving skills before they get on the road.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108529 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108528 I don\'t believe in astrology very well, and while it may be... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 604
108527 Draft Report3, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 430
108526 Draft Report2, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 895
108525 Draft Report2, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 547
108524 Work report1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 522
108523 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 379
108522 Writing task ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 389
108521 School Performance Assessment 4-2 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 4
108520 School Performance Assessment 4-1 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 5
108519 Who\'s music encourages you most? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108518 What is your favorite month and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 471
108517 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 352
108516 Homework 5.14 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 924
108515 What is your favorite month and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108514 Will you allow your friends to visit your place? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1031
108513 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 432
108512 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108511 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 399
108510 Why I applied to Graduate school of Education. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 400

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04