¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that meat is causing some illness to our body?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2021-05-11 470

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that meat is causing some illness to our body.
Actually, my grandfather had illness from arteriosclerosis in my childhood.
Doctor said his illness from meat.
Since he had eaten meat too much, he had the illness.
From my grandfather, I realized that eating meat too much isn¡¯t good for our body.
On the other hand, Not eating meat at all isn¡¯t good for our body as well.
Actually, the Korean talent ¡®Lee ha nee¡¯ said that he became a vegan in two years ago.
She decided not to eat meat at all at that time, but after 2 months, her health became worse.
Doctor said the reason why is because she didn¡¯t eat meat at all for 2 months.
In conclusion, eating meat too much is bad for our body and not eating meat at all is bad as well.
It is good to eat anything in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Cleo,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)
  

Do you think that meat is causing some illness to our body?


I think that meat is causing some illness to our body.
>>> CORRECT

Actually, my grandfather had illness from arteriosclerosis in my childhood.
>>> Actually, my grandfather had an illness called arteriosclerosis in my childhood.

Doctor said his illness from meat.
>>> The doctors said that the cause of the illness is meat. 

Since he had eaten meat too much, he had the illness.
>>> Since he had eaten too much meat, he had the illness.

From my grandfather, I realized that eating meat too much isn¡¯t good for our body.
>>> From that experience of my grandfather, I realized that eating too much meat isn¡¯t good for our body.

On the other hand, Not eating meat at all isn¡¯t good for our body as well.
>>> On the other hand, not eating meat isn¡¯t good for our body as well, it needs balance. 

Actually, the Korean talent ¡®Lee ha nee¡¯ said that he became a vegan in two years ago.
>>> Actually, there was a Korean talent named ¡®Lee Ha nee¡¯ who said that he became a vegan two years ago.

She decided not to eat meat at all at that time, but after 2 months, her health became worse.
>>> She decided not to eat meat starting that time but after 2 months, her health became worse.

Doctor said the reason why is because she didn¡¯t eat meat at all for 2 months.
>>> The doctors said that the reason for this is because she didn't eat meat for two months. 

In conclusion, eating meat too much is bad for our body and not eating meat at all is bad as well.
>>> In conclusion, eating too much meat is bad for our body and not eating meat is bad as well.

It is good to eat anything in moderation.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108189 [4/30]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2
108188 What are some ways your best friend has influenced your life in... ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 606
108187 What would you do if you where homeless? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2
108186 Homework (276) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 534
108185 [04/29]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2
108184 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 0
108183 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 0
108182 Home work(5.3) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 640
108181 Do you like flying on a plane? What are the worst things about... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 1
108180 What is the most important thing for you right now? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 564
108179 selection of market ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 506
108178 Is unemployment a great problem where you live now? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2
108177 What are the advantages of staying home in this time of pandemic? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 2
108176 I will waiting for the rain or go to the sea. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 612
108175 Do you like traveling? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 628
108174 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 3
108173 What were the things you enjoyed when traveling? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 557
108172 5/4 homework ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 1
108171 Children ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 587
108170 What would you do if you where homeless? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04