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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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How to get advice!

작성자: 정*주
2021-05-13 725

회원님의 영작문

In August last year, I had a paralyzing wrist because of excessive work. I was really shocked and depressed at
that time. Normally, whenever I had a hard time, I just went to my sister and talked about my troubles
with my sister. However, paralyzing was so serious and I felt I was suffering from depression, my sister
gave me advice that I should receive psychotherapy.

I've been receiving psychological counseling every two weeks since then. Now days, I'm really okay but even though
living normally, thinking bad way and some troubles make me nervous every time. So I'm just training myself to
avoid from them. My therapist suggests various methods and I always try hard to do them correctly. For example, she
said I have to practice concentrating present, not past or future and make diary to write good words for myself.

Sometimes, I also go to park and listen music because I can get good advice from nature or lyrics of my favorite songs
and doing them makes my mind peaceful.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Julia, thank you for this. Have a good day!
Jasmin

In August last year, I had a paralyzing wrist because of excessive work. I was really shocked and depressed at that time.
>>Last August, I injured my wrist because of excessive work, I was really exhausted and depressed that time. 
 Normally, whenever I had a hard time, I just went to my sister and talked about my troubles with my sister.
>>Normally, when I am having troubles, I would  just go to my sister and talk with her. 
 However, paralyzing was so serious and I felt I was suffering from depression, my sister gave me advice that I should receive psychotherapy.
>>However, My injury was so severe that I suffered depression because of it. My sister told me that I should seek some help from a psychiatrist. 
I've been receiving psychological counseling every two weeks since then. 
>>Since then, I am having a  therapy twice a month.
Now days, I'm really okay but even though living normally, thinking bad way and some troubles make me nervous every time.
>>Nowadays, I feel a lot better but even though it feels normal, I still have anxieties and nervous breakdowns sometimes. 
So I'm just training myself to avoid from them.
>>That is why I'm trying to keep myself calm to avoid those circumstances.
 My therapist suggests various methods and I always try hard to do them correctly.
>>My therapist suggested various ways on how I should deal with it and I always try my best to follow it properly. 
 For example, she said I have to practice concentrating present, not past or future and make diary to write good words for myself.
>>One of the examples that she gave me was to focus on the present not on the past or future, She also said that I should keep track of the good things that I do everyday.
Sometimes, I also go to park and listen music because I can get good advice from nature or lyrics of my favorite songs and doing them makes my mind peaceful.
>>Sometimes, I unwind by going to the park and by listening to relaxing music. I find it peaceful to appreciate the beauty of nature. 
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