¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

: It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-05-13 752

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that poverty happen from the human desire which want to have more money. There are two type of government in the world which are communism and democracy decided by each country. Some European county have adapted social democracy. We can solve the poverty problem by implementing proper social system according to the country's culture and system. As I know, there are a lot of social group to help poor people around the world and local. However, many people have raised the issues which need to get aids from their government. They want their government to help them instead of helping people other countries even if they are poorer than local people. The charity foundation make the advertisement that we can save the world if we don't drink a cup of coffee every day because people in Africa need food and small money is worth for them. I know these activities are important and helpful for people who are under the poverty but I want to help local people first and then approach oth

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Thursday Mr. Hwang! How are you today? Are you still busy with your patient? Well, I guess yes because you're the most important person in your department! kkk See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that poverty happen from the human desire which want to have more money. 
>>> I think poverty happens from human's desire which want to have more money. 
There are two type of government in the world which are communism and democracy decided by each country. 
>>> There are two types of governments in the world which are communism and democracy depending on each country. 
Some European county have adapted social democracy. 
>>> Some European countries have adapted social democracy. 
We can solve the poverty problem by implementing proper social system according to the country's culture and system. 
>>> We can solve the poverty problem by implementing a proper social system according to the country's culture and system. 
As I know, there are a lot of social group to help poor people around the world and local.
>>> As I know, there are a lot of social groups to help poor people around the world and local.
 However, many people have raised the issues which need to get aids from their government. 
>>> CORRECT
They want their government to help them instead of helping people other countries even if they are poorer than local people. 
>>> They want their government to help them instead of helping people from other countries even if they are poorer than local people. 
he charity foundation make the advertisement that we can save the world if we don't drink a cup of coffee every day because people in Africa need food and small money is worth for them. 
>>> Charity foundations make the advertisement that we can save the world if we don't drink a cup of coffee every day because people in Africa need food and small money is worth for them. 
I know these activities are important and helpful for people who are under the poverty but I want to help local people first and then approach oth
>>> I know these activities are important and helpful for people who are under poverty but I want to help local people first and then approach others.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111374 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111373 If you can eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 481
111372 Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 329
111371 Plz cancel today¡¯s class ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 500
111370 IELTS writing task1 line graph ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111369 How do you greet someone you just met? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 487
111368 page 13 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 458
111367 Homework 8.30 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 715
111366 What is the most exciting thing you have ever done? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 372
111365 wage ceiling? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 491
111364 9 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 463
111363 65 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 378
111362 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 509
111361 HOMEWORK: Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life?... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 423
111360 Do you prefer Korean cars or foreign cars? Share your thoughts... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 477
111359 I think expression, and grammar will be better! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 402
111358 DIRECTIONS: Please use the expressions in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 1
111357 colonization À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 3
111356 Please correct it À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 2
111355 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of driving... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04