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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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HOMEWORK

작성자: 김*성
2021-05-15 960

회원님의 영작문

If a person steals a loaf of bread because he needs to feed his starving family, should he be punished? Why or why not?

Many people are well known about the sad novel about this topic.
And, as Valjean was punished in the novel, I agree with it.
It's a very miserable situation that watching his family are starving because there's no food.
However, I think when deciding something, it's wrong to be affected by emotion or empathy, especially in legal issues.
As we are all different people, there are criteria for mediating conflict between each other.
So, I think if a person steals something arbitrarily without asking a favor, definitely he should be punished.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Homer! This is a very hard situation to be in indeed. There are usually times in our lives that emotions take over us and not realize that we are doing bad things already. Remember that no matter how hard our situation is, we should always be on the right path. Doing bad things won't make things any better. Thanks for sharing your opinion :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Many people are well known about the sad novel about this topic.
>> Many people are aware about the sad novel about this story. 

And, as Valjean was punished in the novel, I agree with it.
>>CORRECT

It's a very miserable situation that watching his family are starving because there's no food.
>> It's a very miserable situation to watch your family starve because there's no food. 

However, I think when deciding something, it's wrong to be affected by emotion or empathy, especially in legal issues.
>> However, when it comes to making decisions, we should not let emotions or empathy affect use especially on legal issues. 

As we are all different people, there are criteria for mediating conflict between each other.
>> We are all different people and there are different criteria for mediating conflict between each other. 

So, I think if a person steals something arbitrarily without asking a favor, definitely he should be punished.
>> So, I think if a person steals something arbitrarily without asking, they should definitely be punished. 

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