¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If a person steals a loaf of bread because he needs to feed his starving family, should he be punish

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-05-17 782

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think stealing food was for own family. but the punishment should be taken. Unlike the days when there was no food and it was hard to live. In the present era, food is abundant and the environment and quality of life are better. And it is true that the number of jobs and salaries are also higher than before. and Many organizations also provide volunteer work or aid to the hungry. I\'m sorry if can\'t work that much and don\'t have food, But I think it\'s even worse to violate a crime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! This is a very hard situation to be in indeed. There are usually times in our lives that emotions take over us and not realize that we are doing bad things already. Remember that no matter how hard our situation is, we should always be on the right path. Doing bad things won't make things any better. Thanks for sharing your opinion :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think stealing food was for own family. but the punishment should be taken. 
>> I think stealing food, even if it was for his own family, should be punished. 

Unlike the days when there was no food and it was hard to live. 
>> Unlike back in the old days, there was literally no food and it was very hard to live. 

In the present era, food is abundant and the environment and quality of life are better. 
>>In the present era, food is abundant plus the environment and quality of like is better.  

And it is true that the number of jobs and salaries are also higher than before. 
>> It is true that the number of jobs and salaries are also higher than before. 

and Many organizations also provide volunteer work or aid to the hungry. 
>>Many organizations also provide volunteer work or aid to the hungry. 

I\'m sorry if can\'t work that much and don\'t have food, But I think it\'s even worse to violate a crime.
>> I feel sorry that they can't work and provide for themselves but I think to commit a crime is much worse. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109233 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 391
109232 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109231 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 547
109230 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109229 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109228 Activity À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 450
109227 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109226 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 2
109225 If you win the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 2
109224 Do you agree that studying grammer is more important? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 449
109223 Today issue is about PA nurses of Korea Medical Union ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 509
109222 my new custmer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 391
109221 Are you good listener? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 576
109220 A failure what has made me more better. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 527
109219 What technology are you fascinated about if not cars and motors? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109218 The holidays should have be more, or less? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 481
109217 Key figure behind sex abuse ring appeals sentence to Supreme... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109216 Homework (300) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 411
109215 Are there any countries you could never see yourself living in? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 423
109214 What problems do fire causes in today\'s world? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04