¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If a person steals a loaf of bread because he needs to feed his starving family, should he be punish

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-05-17 980

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think he have to be punished.
There is law because of this society.
If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
So I think he have to be punished.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! This is a very hard situation to be in indeed. There are usually times in our lives that emotions take over us and not realize that we are doing bad things already. Remember that no matter how hard our situation is, we should always be on the right path. Doing bad things won't make things any better. Thanks for sharing your opinion :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think he have to be punished.
>> I think he has to be punished. 

There is law because of this society.
>> There are laws in this society. 

If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
>> If we don't follow the laws, there would be a no alignment. 

There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
>> There are lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.

But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
>> No one should break the law. 

So I think he have to be punished.
>> So I think he has to be punished. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109989 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 3
109988 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109987 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109986 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109985 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109984 Korea delays stronger COVID-19 countermeasures despite record... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
109983 People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 470
109982 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
109981 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 362
109980 home work on July 12 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109979 Homework ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 404
109978 What part of English can be very difficult for you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 1
109977 Homework (308) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 358
109976 How can people develop good or healthy eating habits? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 468
109975 How do you protect the environment in your own little ways. ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 421
109974 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 424
109973 The best selling car in Korea ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 385
109972 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 0
109971 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 0
109970 A well-balanced diet ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-12 457

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04