¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If a person steals a loaf of bread because he needs to feed his starving family, should he be punish

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-05-17 1017

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think he have to be punished.
There is law because of this society.
If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
So I think he have to be punished.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! This is a very hard situation to be in indeed. There are usually times in our lives that emotions take over us and not realize that we are doing bad things already. Remember that no matter how hard our situation is, we should always be on the right path. Doing bad things won't make things any better. Thanks for sharing your opinion :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think he have to be punished.
>> I think he has to be punished. 

There is law because of this society.
>> There are laws in this society. 

If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
>> If we don't follow the laws, there would be a no alignment. 

There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
>> There are lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.

But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
>> No one should break the law. 

So I think he have to be punished.
>> So I think he has to be punished. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109770 What is a perfect relationship? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-02 3
109769 Some people think women should be given equal chances to work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 322
109768 What will you do if your boss is requesting information that you... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 287
109767 My son ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 4
109766 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 487
109765 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109764 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109763 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 357
109762 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 347
109761 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 386
109760 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 582
109759 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 439
109758 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 334
109757 ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 352
109756 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 429
109755 Do you advise people in Korea to take the Covid vaccine? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109754 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 430
109753 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 610
109752 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 482
109751 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04