¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If a person steals a loaf of bread because he needs to feed his starving family, should he be punish

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-05-17 1042

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think he have to be punished.
There is law because of this society.
If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
So I think he have to be punished.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! This is a very hard situation to be in indeed. There are usually times in our lives that emotions take over us and not realize that we are doing bad things already. Remember that no matter how hard our situation is, we should always be on the right path. Doing bad things won't make things any better. Thanks for sharing your opinion :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think he have to be punished.
>> I think he has to be punished. 

There is law because of this society.
>> There are laws in this society. 

If we break laws, this society will be very confused.
>> If we don't follow the laws, there would be a no alignment. 

There is lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.
>> There are lots of people who are very poor because of unfair reasons.

But, everyone shoudn't break laws.
>> No one should break the law. 

So I think he have to be punished.
>> So I think he has to be punished. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109440 How can teen suicide be avoided? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109439 What exercises can you do at home? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2
109438 Homework . Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 532
109437 Homework ÃÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 516
109436 The best things. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 507
109435 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 480
109434 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 462
109433 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109432 Hello! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 4
109431 How do you order food in English? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 769
109430 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 457
109429 I want to be a Eagle! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 625
109428 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 427
109427 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 534
109425 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 601
109424 Eldery Koreans Become More Independent À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109423 Hoework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 561
109422 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 405
109421 An expensive price ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04