¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*È£
2021-05-17 694

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. Then teacher can write it on report card. It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Leo!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. 

>> CORRECT!

Then teacher can write it on report card. 

>> Then the teacher can write about it on the report card.

It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. 

>> It can go on until we are all grown up and have an interview to get a job. 

It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. 

>> It can be a minus point if we have bad results in our report card and if we have bad manners, it can turn into a habit. 

It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

>> It is a big problem because it is hard to break a bad habit.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108387 Is Age Gap an issue when it comes to marriage nowadays? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 805
108386 Foot ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 515
108385 What sleeping disorder is common in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 3
108384 What do you do after when you argue with someone? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 536
108383 allery Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 495
108382 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 460
108381 Who is the most successful person you know? Is success also... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108380 Famous park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 635
108379 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 3
108378 What other ways could you think of to greet people? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 661
108377 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 536
108376 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 570
108375 What was the best scenery you have ever seen? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 837
108374 If you will go on a trip to Mars what is 1 thing you must bring? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 720
108373 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108372 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 550
108371 Tell something interesting about my city ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 478
108370 Today\'s homework Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 620
108369 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 4
108368 when was the last time you were sick? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 633

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04