¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*È£
2021-05-17 879

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. Then teacher can write it on report card. It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Leo!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. 

>> CORRECT!

Then teacher can write it on report card. 

>> Then the teacher can write about it on the report card.

It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. 

>> It can go on until we are all grown up and have an interview to get a job. 

It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. 

>> It can be a minus point if we have bad results in our report card and if we have bad manners, it can turn into a habit. 

It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

>> It is a big problem because it is hard to break a bad habit.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109253 [06/04]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109252 I want to go to the future!!!!> ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 603
109251 My biggest weak part in English ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 495
109250 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 600
109249 ÈÞ°­¿äûÇÕ´Ï´Ù ±è*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 469
109248 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 519
109247 Do people drive well in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 3
109246 How do you define beauty, using your own words? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109245 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 598
109244 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 3
109243 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109242 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 559
109241 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 396
109240 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 577
109239 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 622
109238 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109237 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 498
109236 What is something you hate doing when you get home from work or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109235 Who are the 3 people in your life that you can\'t live without?... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109234 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04